


18

by justforirishx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Dark Liam Payne, Dom Harry, Dom Liam, Dom Liam Payne, Dom/sub, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Sub Louis, dd/lg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-09-25 19:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9840656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justforirishx/pseuds/justforirishx
Summary: I have loved you since we were eighteen.Long before we both thought the same thing.To be loved and to be in love.Liam and Lux have been through all the awkward stuff together.But now they’re twenty-two and Liam doesn’t have a tour to hide behind.Maybe it’s about time Liam came clean about his feelings for Lux for once.Maybe it’s about time Lux just admitted to herself that Liam is the man for her.But could all this time in the limelight reveal a side to Liam that Lux wasn't quite prepared for?Is Liam still the polite, considerate and sometimes innocent person that Lux remembers after all this time?





	1. Chapter 1

We’re only getting older baby.  
I’ve been thinking about it lately,  
Does it ever drive you crazy,  
Just how fast the night changes?  
Night Changes; One Direction

You would think after life on the road for five years, the deafening noise of a stadium would be something that you would get used to. Boy was I wrong. When Zayn left the band, I honestly thought we were finished but the fans thought different. We finished our album and released it to immediate success. After five years, not walking onto a stage is going to feel weird for a while. I am grateful though for a break. I have lots of unfinished business to attend to back home… and by unfinished business, I mean unconfessed feelings.

One Direction gave me the chance to put a lot of my feeling on paper in the form of songs but there was always one aspect I hid from the fans and any girlfriends I had from the time I was sixteen… and that was that I had feelings for my best friend Lux Sykes. I had grown up with Lux. We literally did everything together from the time we could walk. We went to playgroup, primary school, music lessons, athletics, boxing lessons… yes Lux has a mean uppercut. I’ve been on the receiving end in a bout of two. We went to high school together, we went through puberty and all the awkward stuff it brings on – pimples, feelings, and voice changes in my instance, Lux becoming more of a girl than the tomboy she was when we were younger. Basically by the time we were sixteen, Lux looked like a super model in comparison to scrawny old me and she had every guy we went to school with going after her. When I joined One Direction I was kind of glad to get away because the more guys that asked her out, the more my heart broke as I realised she would never go for me.

Now at twenty-two, I am ready to be a bit more normal than I have been for the last five years. Lux is working in London, as a photographer and a live-in nanny to a family with four boys. I was hoping to head home to Wolverhampton but I think a bit of time in London with Lux will do me good.  
I was sitting on the dressing room couch before the last concert ever of One Direction in Sheffield when the ringtone of my phone went off over on the table. I jumped up to check it to find a text from Lux.

From: Lux Sykes  
Liam! I am about five minutes away.  
Will you tell Paul to let me in?  
Can’t wait to see you.

I smiled and got up to go and find Paul to get him to wait for Lux at the stage door. It had been a while since I had seen her. I managed to get her a front row seat and of course a backstage pass. We had organised for her to also come out with the boys and I after the show and whoever they had invited. 

“Oi, Liam!” Harry called from the main lounge of the backstage area.  
“Yeah Harry?” I asked walking into the room.  
“When is Lux getting here?”  
“She’s about five minutes away. How are you feeling?”  
“Anxious, I can feel the nerves setting in. I don’t want this to be over,” Harry replied looking down at the floor.  
“You need time off Haz. Your depression is getting worse, and it’ll give you some time to assess everything and work out if it is all worth it.”  
“You’re right Li. We’re all still going to see each other over the break though right?”  
“We will Haz. Don’t stress so much. It’s all going to be fine,” I smiled.

 

“LIAM JAMES PAYNE!” I heard a female voice yell. I turned around to see Lux standing there with a smile on her face. I ran up to her and picked her up and spun her around.  
“Lux Sykes, boy have I missed you.”  
“I missed you too Li. How are you feeling?”  
“Good, I’m looking forward to some time off. How was the train up?”  
“Long but it’s nice to have a few days off work.”  
“I bet! Come on into my dressing room.”  
“Alright,” she smiled as she followed me into the dressing room.

Lux had changed since I saw her last. She had cut her blonde locks into a shorter hairstyle. Not a pixie cut but not quite long enough to tie it back. She was dressed in a cute little black dress and white heels.

“So Li, what are your plans for the break?” Lux asked as she sat down on the couch and I went to get her a drink out of the fridge in my dressing room.  
“Well I was thinking of spending a bit of time in London, doing a bit of writing. Then heading home to Wolverhampton and spending a bit of time with Mum and Dad and doing some travel,” I replied passing her a Vodka Cruiser.  
“Oh wow, that sounds awesome. Thanks for the drink.”  
“All good. So how old are the boys you’re looking after now?”  
“They’re fifteen, thirteen, eleven and eight now. They’re pretty much men now! I’m honestly wondering why their Mum is keeping me around half the time.”  
“Well I have a proposition for you. Do you want to live with me for a while when I’m in London? I’ve found an apartment I want to rent and it has two bedrooms and I would love a housemate. Must be part of being in a group 24/7.”  
“I’ll have a think about it Li, but it would be a lot of fun,” she smiled.  
“How’s your photography going?”  
“Not as great as I thought. I’m doing a million courses but I just can’t get work. I’m starting to think I might as well go to uni and study teaching or go into journalism.”  
“Teaching wouldn’t be a bad gig, you’ve always been great with kids even when we were kids ourselves.”  
“I thought that considering I have been nannying for the last five years I wouldn’t be too bad at the teaching thing officially.”  
“That’s true, have they upped your pay at all in the last five years?”  
“Yeah I’m on $30 an hour now plus petrol money which isn’t too bad. But a change would be good.”  
There was a knock at the door and Harry appeared.  
“Liam, we have twenty minutes til stage. We need to do warm ups and get dressed.”  
“Alright Haz, I’ll meet you outside in five.”  
“Hey Lux,” Harry said.  
“Hey Haz, catch up after the show?”  
“I’ll buy you a drink.”  
“You’re on Styles.”

“I’ll go and find my seat then I guess,” Lux said before she finished the last of her drink.  
“I’ll look for you in the front row,” I winked.  
“I’ll try not to get mobbed by your fans… I guess.”  
“You’ll be fine, come on I’ll walk you to the stage door and get security to take you to your seat.”


	2. 2: History

All of the rumours, all of the fights. We always find a way to make it out alive. Thought we were going strong. Thought we were holding on, aren’t we?  
History; One Direction  
Knowing that Lux was there to see our last show was the biggest confidence boost yet nerve inducing feeling ever. When we stepped out on stage for our first song, I decided that I wouldn’t look for her straight away. I let myself soak up all the screams. As much as I hate loud noises, there isn’t anything that beats having people cheering for you, night after night. Even if you do feel slightly deaf after. I nearly missed my cue but recovered nicely and began to sing.   
About four songs in, I spotted Lux in the front row, just off to the side right next to the runway. I made eye contact with her and she waved, I waved back and went back to working the crowd. When I had to bolt of the stage for a pee break, I quickly checked my phone to find a text saying  
From: Lux Sykes  
Find me when you are singing Little Things.  
You know it’s my favourite song!  
You’re doing great. So proud of you Li! <3

“You all good?” Louis asked off mic when I got back on stage. Harry and Niall were talking to the crowd.  
“Yeah all good, ready for Little Things?”  
“Yep, let’s do this.”

We turned our mics back on and joined the other two lads and we made our way to the runway part of the stage to set ourselves up for singing Little Things. I looked out for Lux as the guitar part of the song began. I locked eyes with her and began to sing. From the moment I first heard Little Things, I thought of her. She was always shy and self conscious about the smallest things that had to do with her looks or the way she acted. I guess that’s what made me love her even more, she wasn’t perfect and she had little things that made her unique and not like other girls.  
\- Lux’s Point of View –   
One of my favourite things in the whole entire world, is watching Liam performing. It is the one time you truly see his full personality. Liam doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not when he is on stage. Off stage he can be quite shy and reserved and tends to put his foot in it when he has interviews but that is because he is so eager to please everyone. He has been like that from the day I met him.   
At the end of the concert there wasn’t a dry eye on the stadium and I could see that look in Liam’s eye that he didn’t want it to end as the boys huddled in a group hug. The roar from the crowd was amazing. I had never heard anything like it in my life.  
After the concert, I was taken backstage again and I found Liam and the boys starting on the drinks. I helped myself to one and joined them. I sat next to Niall who put his arm around me.  
“Best fucking show we have ever done!” Niall exclaimed.  
“You guys were amazing, I think I’m deaf from all the screams,” I replied.  
“I can’t believe that was the last show, it feels surreal!” Liam said before he sculled his drink.  
“I think when we wake up tomorrow morning it will feel even weirder,” Harry replied.  
After a few more drinks and a lot of laughs and a few tears, we decided to make our way out to the Sheffield nightlife. I hadn’t had a night out in a long time with the job I had. As a nanny, I was pretty much on call 24/7 depending on what the parents of the kids I looked after had on. I was allowed nights out but due to the fact I lived with the family, I tried to avoid alcoholic nights out. I hadn’t been a proper 22 year old in a long time.   
Walking into the nightclub, a flock of girls came over to the guys asking for photos and some even had the balls to ask them to buy them drinks! I went over to find us a booth while the gus dealt with the crowd of overambitious females. Niall was the first to escape and I saw him make his way over to the bar. He looked over at me and smiled. Gradually the boys made their way over to me, taking a seat in the booth. I ended up sitting between Liam and Harry. Pretty much the place where every girl would love to be. I smiled to myself and looked over at the crowd of disappointed girls who were staring at us in envy.  
“Do you guy seriously ever get sick of girls expecting so much of you all the time?” I asked.  
“When they expect us to buy them things when we are out, sometimes. I especially feel it when I want to go out and just be a twenty-something and have fun with my friends,” Louis explained.  
“There are times when we are more than happy to spend time with fans, but times like these, we just want to spend time together and with people close to us. Yes a nightclub Isn’t really the place for it, but hey we just finished the biggest concert of our career,” Liam replied.   
And there it was again, Liam’s people pleaser side. One thing I was really hoping that would come from this break for Liam was that he would learn to do things for himself, now what everyone else wants him to do.   
Niall came over with our drinks and we all just continued to chat and laugh about different things. I always found it easy to hold a conversation with the guys. Harry is the easiest to talk to, he is highly intelligent and knowledgeable on a variety of topics and he is a really, really good listener and secret keeper.  
As the night progressed and more drinks were consumed, I managed to con Liam out onto the dancefloor. Alcohol was starting to cloud my inhibitions more than I expected and I think it was hitting Liam big time too. We were dancing.. well grinding against each other. I could feel Liam’s breath on my neck. It gave me the most intense goose bumps. I turned my head to look over my shoulder and Liam flashed me a smile and brought his face closer to mine and kissed me softly. I was taken aback for a second. I pulled away and stood back and looked at him. Liam had never kissed me before, or shown any inkling that he had romantic feelings for me. I always thought that he thought of me as a sister. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.  
Liam  
All I want is Lux, but when I kissed her, she stepped back, almost shocked at what had just happened. I felt my heart sink when she looked at me. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way as I did.

She grabbed my hand and took me outside to the smokers area where it was quieter and we could talk.  
“What the hell was that?” she asked.  
“I kissed you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I like you Lux.”  
“Is that the alcohol talking?”  
“No Lux, I legitimately like you. I have since we were sixteen, I just never had the courage to tell you.”  
“Or is it just because it’s convenient for you now that the press is off your back?”  
“Lux, don’t be like that. You are my best friend; you always have been. I’ve had feelings for you for so long but I just didn’t know how to tell you. Please give me a chance?” I almost begged. I hate begging but I knew I needed Lux.   
“Hearts and flowers?” she asked.  
“Hearts and flowers Lux. No one night stands, no casual sex. An actual go at a relationship,” I smiled.  
“Prove it,” she replied.  
“As you wish!”  
She took my hand and dragged me back inside and back onto the dance floor. She began dancing along to the music, so I wrapped my arms around her and started grinding myself against her. The buzz of the alcohol was really starting to hit and I kissed Lux again from behind, this time she returned the kiss by turning around and wrapping her arms around my neck and standing on her tip toes and kissing me back. She was an excellent kisser and I got serious butterflies as she kissed me. I hadn’t felt that feeling in a long time. I decided to get a bit more daring and bit her lip as I kissed her and tugged on her hair a little bit. She giggled and pulled away.   
“Can we get another drink?” she asked.  
“Sure, what do you feel like?”  
“Do you want to do Tequila shots?”  
“I’m game if you are Payne,” she winked before we walked over to the crowded bar and waited to order.  
As we waited for our drinks, Lux looked around the bar, her body swaying still with the music. I smiled to myself just watching her. She was always the quiet one, the one who watched other people and felt like she was invisible. But in this moment, she lit up the room.   
The feeling of the tequila hitting the back of my throat made me flinch at first. I didn’t usually do shots but tonight was one of those nights were shots were essential. Oh if only my sixteen-year-old self could see me now, he would be surprised that’s for sure. I looked over at Lux who was about to take her second shot and winked at her. She laughed and threw back the shot but as she downed the liquid, her face turned to a grimace. Ahh the classic Lux shot face. She could never handle shots. I laughed and ordered her a vodka lemonade chaser and a bourbon and coke for myself. We decided to go and find the others and sit down for a while. We found Niall and Louis talking at a table.   
“Where’s Haz?”  
“He just went to the bathroom then to get a drink,” Louis said loudly over the music.  
“Is he okay?” I asked.  
“Yeah he’s fine. I think he’s just coming off the post show high now.” Niall replied.  
Eventually Harry returned to the table with a round of drinks for everyone – bourbon and cokes for us boys and a vodka lemonade for Lux.  
“It’s so nice to have you here Lux. I wish you got to come to more shows and hang out with us more,” Harry said when he sat down.  
“If I could escape my job more Harry, I would have,” she replied with a smile.  
“How long are you going to hang around for now?” Harry asked Lux.   
“I have three days off before I have to go back to London for work. I have to take Patrick, the eldest one to Glasgow for Rugby when I get back.”  
“is that with school?”  
“No unfortunately, club Rugby otherwise I wouldn’t have to go.”  
“Have you thought about quitting?”  
“All the time but I don’t think there’s much other work out there for me at the moment. So I just have to stick with it.”  
We sat around talking for a while and Niall got up and got the next round of drinks eventually. Harry and Lux went out to dance which left me to talk to Louis and Niall.  
“So what’s happening with you and Lux?” Niall asked.  
“I kissed her before.”  
“About fucking time!” Louis exclaimed before giving me a hi-five. “How did she react?”  
“She wasn’t too impressed at first, she thought it was just the alcohol talking. I told her it’s going to be hearts and flowers. A real romance.”  
“You know Liam, you’re going to have to reveal that other side of yourself to her eventually.” Niall said.  
“I think I will keep it hidden a little while longer. I want to try a proper relationship before I introduce that stuff into it. I don’t want a relationship formed on that basis.”  
“Fair enough dude but you never know, she might be into it too.”  
“Lux? I’m not sure about that.”

We all went and joined Harry and Lux on the dance floor and danced as a group but I kept myself close to Lux. There were a few sleaze bags around who kept looking at her but I would give them a dark look and they disappeared pretty quickly. Finally, at five in the morning, the lights of the club turned on and a loud and unified sound of disappointment rang out. The lads, Lux and I all made our way out the door of the club pretty quick and to the waiting car that would take us back to our hotel. We were all pissed as newts and exhausted beyond belief. Lux came up to my room with me. She had a shower and I gave her one of my t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants to wear to bed.   
While I showered, I reflected on the night which was now more of a haze but I finally accomplished something – making Lux mine and revealing my feelings for her. She was going to be more than a friend to me which was exciting but I was scared. Scared that I might frighten her off when she discovers a darker side I have to myself.


	3. 3: 18

Chapter 3: 18  
So kiss me where I lay down  
My hands pressed to your cheeks  
A long way from the playground.  
18; One Direction

Lux’s Point of View  
When I woke up the room was a little fuzzy and my head was pounding and my stomach was churning something chronic. On the bedside table I saw two paracetamol and a glass of water which I quickly took, hoping it would take the edge off. I turned the other way and saw Liam still fast asleep, lightly snoring. It felt like we were back in Wolverhampton as kids when we used to sleep in the same bed as each other – which our parents quickly put a stop to once we became teenagers. I felt safe next to Liam. I always had. He was always protective of me when we were growing up. We both used to get picked on at school, and he used to take the brunt of it for me and stood up for me on many occasions and I did the same for him. Not having Liam around as I got older was hard, he was the person I always leant on and because we weren’t around each other much between when we were sixteen until now at twenty-two, we have both changed and matured and we don’t quite know these new sides of each other yet. I have secrets and I’m pretty sure Liam does too.   
I eventually dozed back off to sleep, curled against Liam’s shirtless back. 

Liam’s Point of View  
I woke up to Lux curled against me, sleeping soundly. I moved gently so I didn’t wake her up. I had a bit of a hangover but nothing too bad. I checked my phone to see texts from friends and family congratulating me on the last show. It was the strangest feeling knowing we were on a break now. I had the freedom to explore the music I wanted to and work with the people I wanted to, not just who Simon and Modest wanted us to work with. I get to spend time with friends and actually have a holiday for once. I was looking forward to spending time with Lux too and being able to explore being more than friends with her.  
I got up and made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower so hot that it began to steam up the bathroom. As I stepped into the stream of water I felt all the stress from the last few days just disappear.   
When I got out of the shower and dried off, I made my way back into the bedroom and went searching through my suitcase for something to wear. I grabbed out a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt and a pair of jocks and snuck back into the bathroom to change.  
I went back in and sat next to where Lux was sleeping on the bed and stroked her hair lightly. I put my headphones on and turned on Spotify and just laid there and listened to music for a while. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could relax. Sure we still had a few TV spots to do but the whole touring thing is done for now.   
Lux eventually woke up, making the same little noises she used to when we were kids and she still rubs her right eye as she wakes. Some habits never change. “Hi beautiful,” I said quietly as I put my headphones around my neck.

“Hi Li,” she smiled, still waking up.  
“Did you sleep okay?”  
“Got a headache but I think that’s the consequences of last night. What about you?” she asked sitting up.  
“I’m fine, relaxed actually.”  
“Relaxed? You haven’t been relaxed in six years Liam James Payne,” she teased.  
“I’ve had my moments missy.”  
She poked her tongue out at me and laughed happily. God I loved Lux’s laugh so much. When we were younger there was a while where she hardly laughed but when she did, it always made everyone so happy.  
“So Sykes, last night.”  
“Last night…”  
“I meant what I said, I want us to have a real try as a couple and be in a proper relationship.”  
“Are you really sure Li?”  
“Yes, I’m serious Lux. I’ve never wanted anything more.”  
“I’m just…”  
“Scared?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m scared too, but we can do this. We’ve been through all the awkward shit before. Plus it’s not like I have to pass your brothers’ trust tests. Your Dad loves me.”  
“As a friend! A boyfriend is a totally different story,” she chuckled. “Sam for one would probably pummel you if he knew you kissed me. Brodie would be overly protective and Dad, well he’ll probably pull you aside for the famous chat.”  
“I’m sure I can handle that, plus remember I beat Sam twice at boxing and Brodie, well once I bring over a bottle of expensive whisky he will be putty in my hands. Same with your Dad.”  
“Oh fine. I guess it can’t hurt. Just can we take it slow? I don’t want to rush anything.”  
“No that’s fine Lux. I understand, I want to take it slow too. But I think you should come to Wolverhampton with me next month so we can tell our families.”  
“I’ll see if I can get time off.”  
“I’m sure they will. Come on, you go have a shower then let’s go and get some breakfast. I’m starving.”  
“Yes boss!’ she smiled before she kissed my cheek then rolled out of bed and made her way to the shower.  
As Lux went into the bathroom, I went outside to have a quick cigarette and answer some texts on my phone. I messaged the boys to tell them we were going out to find a bite to eat and that we would be back by midday.  
Lux came outside dressed in a pair of jeans and a black and white flannel shirt and her Adidas sneakers and a black scarf as a headband. She looked so naturally beautiful. Lux was one of those girls that never needed to wear make-up.  
“I love your outfit Lux.”  
“I know it’s not the most glamourous outfit, but hey it’s comfy.”  
“Lux, you know I don’t care about what you wear. Come on, let’s go and get some food.”  
Before we walked out the door, I grabbed my wallet and my snapback and sunglasses.

Sheffield is one of my favourite cities, especially when it comes to food. Lux and I got in the car with security to one of my favourite café’s. Thankfully it was pretty dead. I ordered Lux and I a coffee and some breakfast and we took a seat inside the café.  
“Breakfast date hey? Smooth Payne.”  
“Well I hope I remembered your favourite breakfast order. Scrambled eggs, mushroom and avocado.”  
“Perfect Li.”  
“I’ve still got it,” I teased.  
“We’ll see about that.”  
“So, today, we’ve got the whole day to ourselves. What would you like to do today?”  
“I just want to chill out with you and the guys. Let’s just hang around the hotel, watch movies and maybe tonight we can all go out for another drink.”  
“I like that plan, I’m happy with that. What time do you have to go back to London tomorrow?”  
“I have to be on the 9am train cause I have to babysit tomorrow night,” she sighed.  
“They really don’t like you having a life do they?”  
“No but it’s my job and I don’t really have many other options. I wish I could earn more money from my photography but I just can’t right now.”  
“I’m happy to support you Lux.”  
“Liam, I’m not going to let you pay for everything for me. Our friendship doesn’t work like that, it never has.”  
“I know, that’s one of the things I love about you. You don’t expect me to fork out for things. But Lux, if getting into your photography more is going to make you happy then I’m willing to support you.”  
“We’ll discuss it later okay? For now, I just have to stick with my job.”  
“I understand.”

After an amazing breakfast, we went back to the hotel and met up with the other guys in Louis’ room.   
“LI! Lux! Where have you two been?” Niall asked.  
“We just went to grab some breakfast. So what’s the plan for today?” I replied.  
“We figured we would chill out, watch some movies, eat some room service.”  
“That sounds good to me, I might run down the road and get some lollies and stuff,” Lux said quietly.  
“Here we’ll chip in Lux,” Harry said reaching for his wallet.  
“Haz, it’s fine. Does anyone have any preferences?” she asked.  
“Anything will do. Can you grab some soft drink? We’ve got plenty of alcohol. Maybe we can play a few drinking games?” Louis suggested.  
“I’m up for that. I’ll get some mixers. I’ll be back in five.”  
“Do you want me to come with you Lux?” I asked.  
“I’ll be fine Liam. Can I just have a room key for here?”  
Louis passed her a key and Lux left to go to the shops.  
While we waited for Lux, we set up the room so we would all be comfortable – cushions on the ground, doonas, pillows etc. It was so nice to see all the lads relaxed for once.   
“So Li, what’s happening with you and Lux?” Harry asked.  
“We’re going to give things a go as a couple, just we are taking things slowly.”  
“Are you going to tell her about your kinky side?” Niall asked.  
“Not yet, I don’t want to scare her away. I’m going to give it a while, make sure we are comfortable as a couple first before introducing that stuff into it.”  
“You know Liam, your Dom side comes out normally anyway. And from what I’ve gathered from Lux, she seems like a submissive but maybe that’s just the vibe I’ve got,” Louis replied.  
“Louis, just cause you’re a sub does not mean your sub radar is correct,” I teased.  
“99.9% of the time it actually is Payno, so don’t knock it,” Louis laughed poking his tongue out at me. I smiled and looked over at Harry who just shook his head and gave Louis a glare.

Louis and Harry have secretly been together since 2013 with the help of many female decoys. They’re so in love but the pressure of having to keep their relationship has brought up a few roadblocks and challenges. Particularly with Harry and his mental health, we’ve discovered he has been self harming and I’ve found him late at night bawling his eyes out many times and tried to support him as much as I could. Harry is a dominant and Louis is a submissive, just as I am a dominant – well I’m actually a Daddy Dominant. I like girls who are submissive but also identify as littles. However bringing it up in a relationship is always tricky unless you go through the usual avenues to find a sub or little. I don’t know whether Lux has ever actually slept with anyone let alone whether she is a sub or not. 

“Oi Louis, watch out. Haz might make you pay for it later,” Niall teased.  
“Shove it Horan. You’re just jealous.”  
“I have my needs met just fine thanks.”  
“Seriously you three. Honestly.”  
“Liam, you are so straight it kills me. Let loose. It’s just sex.”  
“I know and I enjoy sex, I just don’t like talking about it with you three nor do I like thinking about what Niall gets up to.”  
“What does Niall get up to?” Lux asked as she walked into the room carrying four plastic bags.  
I jumped up to help Lux.  
“Nothing babes. The boys are being disgusting.”  
“Your boyfriend is a total prude Lux!” Louis exclaimed  
“Shut up Tomlinson!”  
“Boys, what do you want to drink?” Lux asked setting out the soft drinks on the counter and getting glasses out for everyone.  
“Don’t use the glasses Lux. We have plastic cups next to the fridge,” Louis suggested.  
“Okay, no worries Lou. What do you want to drink?”  
“Lux, you sit down. I’ll get everyone drinks. The least I can do is be a proper host,” Louis replied getting up and going over to Lux. “Go sit down next to your lover boy.”  
Lux and I took a seat amongst the nest of pillows and blankets, she was sitting between my legs and I wrapped my arms around her. This seating position was normal for us. We have always been this close. But when she looked up at me with a small smile, I decided to just go for it and give her a quick peck on the lips.  
“Ooo, look at you two!” Harry teased.

I pulled away with a smirk then grabbed a cushion and lobbed it at Harry with all my might and it hit him square in the chest. He burst out laughing and nodded. “Fair. Fair.”  
“Lux! What do you want to drink? We have vodka, bourbon, wine, beer, rum, scotch or whiskey,” Louis asked.  
“Vodka lemonade please Lou, heavy on the vodka.”  
“I like a girl who loves her alcohol. Watch out Payno.”  
“Scotch and coke for me please Lou.” I said quickly, ignoring Louis’ jab.  
Once we all had drinks and were sitting around in the nest of cushions, Harry decided to put some music through the sound system and so began our afternoon of drinks and relaxation.  
“Who’s up for some truth or dare?” Niall suggested.  
“Sure.” Louis and Harry said in unison.  
“Why not,” Lux replied.  
“Fine,” I sighed. I hate truth or dare, especially when there’s a girl involved. Louis always asks the most irritating and annoying questions.


	4. 4. Made in the AM

  
_You and me were raised in the same part of town,_  
Got these scars on the same ground  
Remember how we used to kick around  
Just wasting time?  
  
**Made in the AM; One Direction**

Liam’s POV

“Truth or Dare Lux?” Louis asked.  
“Truth.”  
“Who was your first kiss?”  
“Liam when I was thirteen in a game of truth or dare,” she replied before taking a drink. “Truth or dare Lou?”  
“Dare,” he grinned.  
“Do an impression of someone in the room until someone guesses who you are.”  
“Oh that’s piss easy,” Louis said before standing up and clearing his throat.  
“I… don’t think we should objectify women,” Louis said slowly with a Cheshire accent.  
“Oh come on Tomlinson, that’s Harry!” Niall replied. “Have a drink. That was the worst impression ever.”  
“Your turn Niall!” Lux exclaimed.  
“Liam, truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
“If you could live with anyone who would it be?”  
“Lux and you guys. Okay, my go. Harry! Your turn.”  
“I’ll pick, dare.”  
“I dare you to punish Louis in front of us.”  
“Lou, you okay with that? You’ve already racked up a few infractions tonight with that smart alec attitude anyway.”  
“Sure Haz.” Louis replied cooly.  
“Over the bed Lou, jeans down. Keep your jocks on.”  
We watched as Louis got himself ready for his punishment. Lux looked up at me curiously.  
“Louis and Harry are into BDSM. Harry is a Dom and Louis is his sub. I’ll explain more later,” I whispered into her ear. She nodded and kissed me on the cheek.  
I knew Harry wasn’t really going to fully punish Louis in front of us, but Louis was enjoying it just the same. Harry spanked Louis five times, hard. He was lucky he had his jocks as a sort of barrier. I’ve seen Louis’ ass after a spanking before and he goes bright red and gets some great bruises. Lux looked intrigued but at the same time shocked.  
Harry gave Louis a quick kiss once he finished then they came back and sat down, Louis in between Harry’s legs, kind of how Lux and I were.  
“Look at me, fifth fucking wheel.”  
“Nah you’re not the fifth wheel Niall, come on. Your turn. Truth or dare?” Harry asked.  
“Truth.”  
“Are you going to bring out an album in the break?”  
“Yes, but not straight away. Louis your turn. Truth or dare?”  
“Dare.”  
“I dare you to skull your drink…”  
“Oh come on Horan!” Louis interrupted.  
“Hold on, I’m not finished. You have to skull your drink then have a shot of vodka.”  
“Okay, hang on.”  
A few more rounds of truth or dare and a few shots later we were all getting a bit giddy and the truths and dares were starting to get dirty, well between us guys anyway. No one had asked Lux anything risky but I figured after a few drinks it was time to start doing a bit of digging.  
“Lux, your turn. Truth or dare?” I asked.  
“Truth.”  
“Are you a virgin? If not who was your first?”  
“No, my first was Ryan.”  
“Ugh him.”  
“Who was he Lux?” Harry asked.  
“Liam and I went to school with him, I dated him two years after we finished school. He turned out to be a total fuck boy but hey we live and learn,” she replied with a sad smile.  
I know for a fact she hasn’t dated anyone since Ryan but I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit jealous.  
“Oh well, you’ve got Payno now to look after you,” Harry smiled at her.  
“I sure do,” she said before she looked up and me and kissed me. I kissed her back, adding a little bit of tongue.  
“Keep it clean you two! Come on Lux your turn to ask someone!” Louis said.  
“Okay, okay, settle down Lou. Liam! Truth or dare?” she said still looking at me  
“Truth.”  
“What’s the best experience you’ve ever had sexually?”  
The boys all went quiet, and I felt my face go red and I looked down at the floor.  
“Liam, it’s fine. You can tell me,” she said using her finger to lift up my chin.  
This was it, my secret was about to be out.  
“Well, with Sophia, I discovered a side to myself that I always kind of knew I had but I got to explore it with her.”  
“What side of you Liam?”  
“I’m a dominant, “ I said bluntly.  
“Like 50 Shades of Grey?”  
“Fifty shades is a bit of a fluffy version of the lifestyle but yeah. I enjoy BDSM. More precisely I’m a Daddy Dominant,” I replied trying not to sound nervous.  
“So you want your partner to call you Daddy?” she questioned curiously.  
“Only if they’re comfortable with it. And please don’t feel like you have to be part of this lifestyle, I don’t have to have this side of myself Lux. It’s just something I enjoy and use as stress relief. I’ll explain more to you later okay?” I answered trying to work out what she was thinking.  
“Now I’m curious!” she smiled getting off my lap to turn around and look at me properly.  
“Later babes okay?”  
“But you said Louis and Harry are into BDSM too.”  
“This is something we will talk about in private okay?” I said sternly.  
“Fine bossy butt.”  
“Trust me Lux, it’s a conversation you want to have just the two of you. It is complicated and you need time to talk about it in depth. Go on, have another drink,” Louis said to Lux reassuringly.  
Lux skulled down her drink and poured herself another one. She turned back around went between my legs again and leant back against me.  
“Can we stop truth or dare now? It’s getting boring!” Lux said.  
“Fine, what do you propose we do instead then Sykes?” Niall replied.  
“Never have I ever.”  
“Oooh , I love that game… when we don’t play it on television,” Harry laughed.  
“I’ll ask first,” Louis said. “Never have I ever – kissed someone I shouldn’t have.”  
We all put our hands up to say we had. So no one had to drink. Next it was my go.  
“Never have I ever been in handcuffs.”  
Lux and Harry were the only two who didn’t raise their hands so they had to drink.  
“I only put them on someone,” Harry laughed. “Never have I ever punched someone in an argument.”  
Lux, Niall and Harry had to drink. I had punched a guy Lux and I went to school with when I was fifteen. He was giving Lux a hard time so I sorted him out. It was common knowledge that Louis had punched a paparazzo by accident.  
“Never have I ever hidden feelings for someone for longer than two years,” I said.  
Harry, Louis, Lux and I drank.  
“Who have you liked for longer than two years Liam?” Lux asked.  
“You silly. I’ve liked you since we were sixteen I just never had the guts to tell you.”  
“Oh Liam,” she smiled before she kissed me.  
“Okay you two, I think you need to go get a room!” Niall said.  
“Fuck off Horan,” I laughed.  
“Never have I ever, had sex in a public place,” I asked.  
Niall, Lux and Harry had to drink.  
“Louis! You sly dog. When and who with did you do that?” Harry asked.  
“Back in Doncaster before XFactor. None of your business though and its old news,” he said poking his tongue out at Harry.

Eventually we all got sick of Never have I ever and we decided to just sit around and talk and order some room service. After we ate, Lux and I decided to go back to our room for a little while and talk. I knew she had questions about what had been spoken about so I needed to answer those for her before she heard from someone else or the internet.  
Before we walked out of the room, I grabbed the bottle of vodka and some lemonade and took them into our room with us.  
I poured Lux a drink and we went and sat on the couch that was in our room.  
“So Li, are you going to explain all the stuff that was said in there?” she asked.  
“You’ve never been one to ease into anything have you Lux?” I replied as I was pouring her a drink.  
“Nope,” she grinned.  
I passed her the drink then got comfy beside her on the couch.  
“So, like I said before, I’m a Daddy Dominant.”  
“What does that mean exactly though?”  
“So I take more of a caregiver role, especially to a girl who identifies as a little.”  
“What does being a little mean?  
“Well there’s lots of facets to it Lux. So there’s babies; people who like to get in the mindset of a baby between the ages of zero and two, littles who are in the mindset of someone between three and seven years old, middles who are between eight and twelve and teens who are in the mindset of a teenager. You don’t have to fit into one certain category, you can fluctuate depending on your mood or needs. It can be sexual or non-sexual. It’s also a sort of sub-category of being a submissive too.”  
“What’s a submissive?”  
“I probably should have started with that. So being a sub means you give up control to a dominant, but in reality you are the one who holds all the power. You have the power to stop any scene. Being a sub is all about pushing your boundaries but also about giving in to yourself and letting go.”  
“What does being a dominant entail?”  
“So as a Dom, my job is to push your limits, give you advice and set boundaries and rules for you and to be in control. But for me it’s not so much about the control,” I replied, trying not to sound like a total creep.  
“It sounds interesting Li, but kind of complicated. Can we just start of slow… maybe build to that?” Lux asked nervously looking down at the couch.  
“It doesn’t have to be part of our relationship if you don’t want it to be. I can survive without it. It’s just something I enjoy.”  
“Like I said Liam, we can build up to it. Maybe include elements of it in our relationship first. I like the idea of rules though. What kind of rules would there be?” she asked curiously.  
“Well, an enforced bedtime, you would be given chores to do during the day, you have to message me when you wake up in the morning, looking after yourself. It’s not anything too drastic, at least to start with anyway.”  
“I think I can work with that,” Lux smiled before putting her drink down.  
The thought of exploring this dynamic with Lux excited me, but I could also tell she was hesitant. She had this look in her eye of curiosity with a mixture of fear. She stood up and walked over to the bed and sat on the edge and gestured for me to go over there. I got up eagerly and walked over to her. I took her hand and pulled her to stand up. She looked up at me, her tiny stature really showing. I put my hand on her cheek before leaning down to kiss her. I felt her go up on her tiptoes as we kissed, my tongue trying to make its way into her mouth. I nipped her lip cheekily. I felt her smile as we kissed and she giggled quietly, breaking the kiss.  
“What’s so funny little one?” I asked with a smirk.  
“Nothing, just still getting used to kissing you. It feels different to what I imagined,” she replied.  
“Different how?” I asked as my thumb rubbed her cheek gently.  
“I always imagined you to be quite, I don’t know…” she said anxiously.  
“Gentle?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I can be gentle, it’s just not as fun,” I teased before biting her lip again.  
I kissed her a bit more forcefully, moving my hand off her cheek and through her short blonde hair. She pulled away and looked up at me again.  
“Li, are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” Lux asked.  
“Us being together?”  
“Yeah, what if it fails epically? What if we break up and never ever speak to each other again?”  
“Lux, our friendship is far too strong for that bullshit. Just let’s see where this takes us. We love each other as friends, maybe, most likely, we will love each other as more. I couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather be with in this life.” I replied before hugging her and kissing her forehead. “Just take a chance.”  
“God damn it Payne, you have a way with words,” she chuckled.  
“Come on Princess, let’s watch a movie. What do you want to watch?”  
“You’re going to laugh at me, but can we watch the Fault in Our Stars?”  
“Have you seen it?”  
“No but I really want to but you know what I’m like with sad movies. You’re the only person I’m ever brave enough to cry in front of.”  
“Lux Sykes with the heart of stone, only ever brave enough to cry in front of her best friend. Yes I know her well,” I teased.  
“Shut up! I do not have a heart of stone! I’m just careful with who I show my emotions to.”  
“I know Lux. I’m just teasing. The Fault in Our Stars it is.”

I went over to my bag and pulled out my laptop and hard drive, while Lux settled down under the covers. Watching movies together was one of Lux and I’s favourite things to do when we were together. She saves watching sad movies for when I’m in town, Lux has never been one for being overly emotional and as she said, I’m the only person she is comfortable crying in front of. Lux hasn’t exactly had the world’s easiest life. She came from a loving home, which was great but her Mum died when she was sixteen, just after all the One Direction stuff started to take off, her brothers moved away for work and study and her Dad ran off with another woman about twelve months after her Mum died. Lux felt like she was alone in the world but she didn’t want anyone to know. She just suffered in silence, except for the times we were together. They were the moments she fell apart, we would lie there and both just cry and hold each other. I snuggled up behind Lux and wrapped my arms around her and kissed the back of her neck as the movie began.  
“Lum-Lum?” she asked quietly, using the old nickname she called me when we were kids, turning her head to look at me about half way through the movie.  
“Yeah?” I replied pausing the movie.  
“Is this sort of how you felt about me? You thought I only wanted us to be friends?”  
“Yeah, Lux I’ve had feelings for you since forever. But every time I tried to hint at it you never got the hint or I was with someone or you were going through things with your family.”  
“Li, I’m really scared. I have so many issues and I don’t want them to tear us apart.”  
“Lux, if they were going to tear us apart, they would have by now. I’ve been there for you at your lowest. There is absolutely nothing that could tear us apart from each other in that sense,” I said comfortingly.  
“Liam, I’m so scared to get this close to you. What if you leave? What if someone better comes along? What if Sophia comes back?”  
I sat up, now feeling a tad frustrated. “Lux, I won’t leave. When have I ever broken a promise to you? Someone better won’t come along and there’s no chance in hell Sophia will ever come back. Sophia is never going to come back. She’s taken all she wanted from me and I never want her back in my life in any way shape or form.”  
“Sorry,” she said quietly.  
“Lux, I know you over think but if you ever have something to worry about I will tell you.”  
I cuddled back into Lux and restarted the movie, Lux turned to me again and kissed my cheek with a sad smile. “Sorry Li.”  
“We’re fine Lux, you’re fine. Let’s just watch the movie hey?”  
As the movie continued, I heard Lux sniffle every now and then. At the very end of the movie, we were both sobbing. Lux clung to me and just cried for a good half hour until she eventually fell asleep. I held her in my arms as she slept and dozed off myself.  
We both woke to the sound of my phone ringing a few hours later. I groaned and answered it sleepily.  
“Liam speaking.”  
“Li! Get dressed, we’re going out!” Harry exclaimed through the phone.  
“Give Lux and I half an hour.”  
“Sleepy ass. Meet you downstairs at 10!”  
“Bye Haz.”  
I hung up the phone and kissed Lux’s forehead to wake her properly.  
“Come on baby, up. The boys want to go out tonight.”  
“Another One Direction night out? I don’t know if my liver can deal with that.” Lux said sleepily.  
“You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to baby.”  
“We’ll see.”

I let Lux have a shower and get ready first, I had mastered the art of a quick shower and dressing fast since being in the band. Twenty minutes later, Lux came out of the bathroom dressed in a black dress that had a lacy pattern over her breasts. I could tell she had a push up bra on too. She had her hair done in a messy style and a small amount of make up on.  
I went up to her and kissed her forehead. “Babes, you look beautiful.”  
“Oh thanks Li. What are you going to wear?”  
“I was thinking my black jeans and blue collared shirt and a sports jacket. Is that okay with you little miss?”  
“You’re the boss,” she teased before going up on her tip toes to kiss me quickly.

I went into the bathroom to shower and shave. All I took in with me were my jocks. I figured I could ease Lux into everything by letting her see me in my jocks. As I showered I decided to come up with a few rules for Lux to follow while we were out to see if she liked the idea.

When I got out of the shower, I found Lux sitting on the bed flicking through her phone.  
“What are you looking at?” I asked.  
“Just answering a text from Kathleen about what time I get back to London tomorrow,” she said looking up from her phone. “Put some clothes on!”  
“What? Don’t like me in my jocks?” I teased.  
“I’m immune to seeing you in your jocks Liam,” she laughed.  
I quickly got dressed, made sure I had my wallet and phone in my pockets and Lux put her essentials into her clutch and put on a pair of towering heels. I sat down on the bed and gestured for Lux to sit beside me.  
“What?” she asked.  
“You know the discussion we had before?”  
“About the things you’re into?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Yes…” she said hesitantly.  
“Remember I said rules were a part of it? What do you think of having a couple of rules tonight? Nothing too extreme but just some basic ones?”  
“Okay I guess, what were you thinking?”  
“Well, you have to hold my hand wherever we go, tell me where you’re going and ask permission to have a drink and if it’s not too much, ask to go to the bathroom.”  
“Ummm… okay. They don’t seem too hard.”  
“For now… if you have a few drinks it might not be.”  
“Then what happens?”  
“There will be consequences.”  
“Like a punishment?”  
“Exactly”  
“What would that entail?”  
“Well it could be anything. But we can discuss it if we have to. We might even just work up to that. Maybe tonight can be your practise run. Actually, yeah that sounds better. See how you like having rules then maybe next outing we can introduce punishments if you like it.’  
“Okay,” she smiled before looking down. I put my finger under her cheek to make her look at me and then I kissed her softly.  
“If you aren’t comfortable with it, just tell me okay?”  
She nodded then stood up, wobbling a bit on her heels.  
“Are you going to be alright with those?” I asked.  
“I hope so! I bought them especially for a night out with you guys. I have to pull off looking like a girl every once in a while,” she smiled.  
“Lux, you’re very feminine. You shouldn’t worry about that. I love you just the way you are, I always have.”  
“Thanks LI,” she smiled.

When we got to the nightclub, Lux and I made our way to the bar and I managed to convince her to have a drink. Well it didn’t take much convincing. Then we made our way over to where the lads were gathered near the dancefloor. I’ve honestly never been much of a dancer, but I do enjoy letting loose on a night out and dancing. 

Lux pulled me out onto the dancefloor once we both finished our drinks and there was some electro music on and we danced around jokingly at first. Lux laughed at my daggy moves and jumped into my arms, planting a kiss on my cheek as I caught her. I put her down and smiled down at her and pressed a kiss to her lips. “You’re so beautiful,” I said in her ear.  
I saw her blush under her makeup and look down at the floor. I put my finger under her chin and made her look at me. “Don’t ever be self-conscious around me babe. I think you are the most beautiful woman on this planet. I always have.”  
She smiled and I kissed her again, this time a deeper, our tongues connecting, my hand on her cheek as we kissed. As I pulled away I bit her lip softly and grinned cheekily at her.  
“Ow!” she laughed.  
“I can bite harder, so don’t tempt me,” I teased.  
“Oi! You two! Want another drink?” Louis shouted over the music.  
Lux and I nodded and Louis went off to the bar to get us some more drinks while we kept dancing. This time Lux and I were grinding against each other, me standing above her. I could feel myself getting hard in my jeans… damn skinny jeans! Lux looked up at me with a smirk.  
“Don’t even think about it,” I whispered in her ear.  
“Think about what Daddy?” she replied feigning innocence as she looked up at me with a smirk.  
I groaned and turned her around and kissed her again, this time biting her lip harder which made her yelp a tad then kissed her hard.  
“You’re in a cheeky mood little miss.”  
“I can’t help that you’re so god damn attractive… sir,” she replied with a smirk.  
“Fucking hell Lux,” I groaned. Suddenly I felt a slap on my back and turned around to see Louis standing there with Lux and I’s drinks in hand.  
“You right there Payno?” Louis said over the music.  
I nodded with a look of frustration on my face.  
“Thanks Lou!” Lux said with a smile.  
“Come on Lux, let’s go sit with the lads,” I said leading the three of us over to where Harry and Niall were.

Lux sat between Louis and I and Harry and Niall were across the table. We were all talking and having a laugh and once we had all finished our drinks and had some shots, we made our way together to the dance floor. All our inhibitions had been clouded by the alcohol we had had, Lux and I were pretty much dirty dancing with each other, same with Louis and Harry. Niall had found a pretty brunette to dance with.

After a few songs full of dancing, we all went back to the bar to have a few more shots then we decided to move onto another bar. As we all piled into a maxi taxi, Lux leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Would you be mad if I said I wanted you right now?”  
I looked at her with a smirk and mouthed, “No.”  
When the cab pulled up at the next nightclub, the other lads got out and Lux and I stayed behind and got the taxi to take us back to the hotel. Louis called out for us to be safe just before he shut the door, making us both laugh. The trip to the hotel felt like it took forever. The tension in the car was insane. I had my hand on Lux’s leg, my fingers lightly tracing patterns. She leaned over and kissed me softly and shyly. I pulled away and smiled at her.  
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to Lux. There is no pressure for anything more to happen right now.”  
“No Li, I want to.”  
“Babe are you really sure? Cause I’m more than happy to just make out,” I whispered.  
“Liam, I want you. Trust me. I want you so bad,” Lux whispered into my ear before she bit my earlobe softly.  
I smiled so hard, I probably looked like a Cheshire cat.  
“You can even show me some of these tricks of yours,” she said before she winked at me.  
Fuck. Lux Sykes would be the death of me in every which way I could think of. 

Once we got out of the taxi, we ran to the lift, pressing the button multiple times and laughing at each other. The lift ride felt like it took forever, but once we reached our floor, we raced each other to the door of our room, laughing the whole time. In true Liam and Lux fashion, I beat her to the door. When we got inside, I shut the door and pinned Lux to it and kissed her hard.  
When I pulled away, I put my finger under her chin to get her to look at me.  
“Lux, if you want to stop all you have to do is tell me okay?”  
“Li, I want this. Come on!” she said trying to kiss me again.  
“No Lux, I’m being serious right now. If anything makes you uncomfortable just tell me to stop.”  
“I will. I promise. Come on Li!!”  
I kissed her hard again and when I pulled away she smiled. “Now little one, you do as I say yes?”  
She nodded.  
“Words baby.”  
“Yes Daddy.”  
The words fell from her lips so easily and she smirked at me. I took her hand and led her over to the bed. We sat on the edge and I kissed her, softly at first and she kissed back, trying to gain the upper hand.


End file.
